I'm Sorry

Should she tell them everything
Or maybe it's better not to know
The truth she felt she owed them
Even if telling would hurt her so

I never had a single friend, mom,
Always pretended, to make you smile
When I said I went to Christie's
I just stayed outside alone a while

Thinking back at what had happened
Tears again quickly filled her eyes
What has she done to deserve this
She had always tried to be so nice

'I never did understand it, dad,
Why they would hurt me so every day
I tried to accept it as how life is
That I'd done something and had to pay

Never imagined it to be so hard
Just to write the stupid letter
Bidding her parents a last good bye
Sooner she got it done, the better

'My letter is coming to end now
When you read it, so has my life
And I didn't do this to hurt you'
Guilt cuts through her like a knife

'I wish there had been another way
Where I wouldn't need to end this
But keep me in your hearts with you
That's the only place I can find bliss'

'Mom and dad, I'm sorry I must say I love you so Please don't ever doubt that I'm sorry I had to go'	A cold stream of salty water Peacefully caressing her skin It all wanted to come out now Could no longer keep it within
Should she tell them everything Or maybe it's better not to know The truth she felt she owed them Even if telling would hurt her so
Using her left palm as a tissue Trying to make the tears go away The pen would she use to tell them, Tell them what went on every day	'I guess I should have told you A little late for tales tonight But it's better late than never To tell what led to this night
I never had a single friend, mom, Always pretended, to make you smile When I said I went to Christie's I just stayed outside alone a while
The kids were always teasing me Calling me names I will not tell It happened every day at school I've felt trapped inside a cell	Everyone got to bully me around Like it was some kinda hidden law Nothing I ever did was good enough What went on in my mind no one saw'
Thinking back at what had happened Tears again quickly filled her eyes What has she done to deserve this She had always tried to be so nice
Verbal abuse had killed her inside Making all the confidence go away She'd started to believe every word That she was the bad things they'd say	No one had taken her side in this Kids not joining in had just walked by Spitting, kicking, pulling her hair Never had any stopped and wondered why
'I never did understand it, dad, Why they would hurt me so every day I tried to accept it as how life is That I'd done something and had to pay
But I cannot take this anymore now I hate myself and want it to end I wish there had been another way But a broken soul can never mend	Take care of mom for me, please Tell her this was for the best I love you both so dearly, dad' She feels a huge lump in her chest
Never imagined it to be so hard Just to write the stupid letter Bidding her parents a last good bye Sooner she got it done, the better
Taking so long to write so little Most difficult thing she'd ever done She had thought about it many times Had only considered, but written none	Eyes red, puffy and watery as ever Hands shivering and cheeks very wet She'd written down all she remembered The secret she had so silently kept
'My letter is coming to end now When you read it, so has my life And I didn't do this to hurt you' Guilt cuts through her like a knife 'I wish there had been another way Where I wouldn't need to end this But keep me in your hearts with you That's the only place I can find bliss' ©Lisabeth - 22.Jan.04 This poem is not to be used elsewhere